I Get Frustrated with My Baby at Night”: 7 Essential Tips to Cope and Connect

Nighttimes with a newborn or even an older baby can be a roller coaster of emotions. From those magical moments of peaceful sleep-watching to the sheer exhaustion of sleepless nights, parents often experience a gamut of feelings.

Let’s dive into understanding these nocturnal baby challenges and how to navigate them.

Why Nighttime Can Be Difficult

Nighttime challenges with babies and toddlers are a common theme in parenting circles. Many parents, especially new ones, often find themselves wondering why the supposedly peaceful night turns into a battleground of wits and patience.

Here are some of the primary reasons:

Biological Factors

Humans are diurnal creatures, meaning we’re naturally inclined to be active during the day and rest at night. Babies, especially newborns, haven’t yet developed this sleep-wake pattern.

In the early days, their small stomachs require frequent feedings, making them wake up multiple times during the night.

Developmental Milestones

As babies grow, they go through various developmental leaps. These can be physical, such as teething or rolling over, or mental, like recognizing their surroundings or understanding object permanence.

These leaps can disrupt their sleep, causing them to wake up more frequently.

Sleep Associations

Babies often develop sleep associations, meaning they associate sleep with specific conditions, like being rocked or nursed.

If they wake up in the middle of the night and these conditions aren’t met, they might find it challenging to go back to sleep.

Environment Adjustments

Unlike adults, babies are hypersensitive to their environments. Factors like room temperature, wet diapers, or even the fabric of their pajamas can make a difference in how well they sleep.

They might wake up if they’re too hot, too cold, or simply uncomfortable.

Separation Anxiety

Around the 8-month mark, many babies start to understand object permanence — the concept that things (and people) exist even when they can’t see them.

This can lead to separation anxiety, where babies wake up and become upset when they don’t see their primary caregiver.

The Mental Load of Parenting

The term ‘mental load’ refers to the constant, invisible labor involved in managing household tasks and taking care of family needs.

In the context of parenting, especially during a baby’s first years, this load can feel particularly heavy.

Anticipation and Planning

Parents constantly find themselves anticipating their child’s needs. This can range from ensuring there are enough diapers in the house to scheduling vaccinations, doctor appointments, and even planning school activities for older kids.

Emotional Labor

Being attuned to a child’s emotional needs and ensuring they feel loved, secure, and understood is a continuous task.

Parents often find themselves acting as emotional anchors, which can be draining, especially if they don’t have an outlet for their own feelings.

Decision Fatigue

From deciding what brand of baby food is best to choosing the right educational path for an older child, parenting is filled with endless decisions.

Each choice carries the weight of wanting what’s best for the child, leading to potential decision fatigue.

Information Overload

In today’s digital age, there’s an abundance of information available on every topic imaginable. Parenting is no exception.

The constant influx of advice, research, and opinions can be overwhelming and lead to self-doubt or confusion.

Balancing Roles

Many parents juggle multiple roles. Apart from being caregivers, they might be professionals, partners, and individuals with their own needs and aspirations.

Balancing these roles without neglecting any can add to the mental strain.

Cultural and Societal Pressure

Parents often face pressure from society or their communities about how they should raise their children.

Whether it’s about breastfeeding, working versus staying at home, or disciplining methods, these external expectations can add to the mental load.

Navigating Nighttime Frustrations: Strategies and Solutions

Understanding is half the battle. Now, let’s explore some strategies to manage and reduce those nighttime frustrations.

1. Establishing a Routine

Babies thrive on routines. While it’s not always possible to have a strict schedule, a semblance of routine can be beneficial. Starting with a calming bedtime routine can signal to the baby that it’s time to wind down.

2. Shared Responsibilities

If possible, share nighttime duties with a partner. Taking turns for feedings or soothing can provide each partner with some much-needed rest and reduce the overall burden.

3. Create a Comfortable Environment

Ensuring that the baby’s sleeping environment is comfortable can make a huge difference. Consider factors like room temperature, comfortable pajamas, and a suitable sleeping position.

4. Seek Support

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Whether it’s from family members, friends, or professional services, getting an extra hand or even just someone to talk to can be invaluable.

5. Self-Care is Essential

Take time out for yourself. This doesn’t necessarily mean long breaks – even short 5-minute intervals where you practice deep breathing, have a cup of tea, or simply step outside for fresh air can rejuvenate you.

6. Stay Informed

Equip yourself with knowledge. Understanding your baby’s developmental stages and common challenges can prepare you better. Websites like BabyCenter provide a wealth of information.

7. It’s Okay to Feel Frustrated

Lastly, accept that it’s natural to feel frustrated at times. Parenting is a journey with highs and lows, and it’s okay to seek help when you’re feeling overwhelmed.


Navigating the nighttime challenges with a baby can be a daunting task. However, by understanding the root causes, equipping oneself with knowledge, and seeking support, it’s possible to turn those sleepless nights into precious bonding moments.

Remember, every phase in parenting is temporary, and this too shall pass..

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)


Why is my baby more active at night?

Babies, especially newborns, are still adjusting to life outside the womb. They don’t have a set circadian rhythm yet, which means their sleep patterns can be erratic. Additionally, some babies are just naturally more active during the night.

How can I help my baby differentiate between day and night?

Expose your baby to natural light during the day and keep nighttime feedings and interactions calm and dimly lit. Over time, this can help them establish a more regular sleep-wake cycle.

Is it normal to feel resentful towards my baby?

While it might feel uncomfortable to admit, many parents occasionally feel resentful or frustrated, especially due to sleep deprivation. It’s essential to communicate these feelings and seek support when needed.

What can I do when I feel overwhelmed?

Firstly, if it’s safe to do so, take a short break. Step away, breathe deeply, and try to calm yourself. If feelings of overwhelm persist, consider seeking professional help or joining a support group.

How long will my baby’s nighttime waking last?

Every baby is different. Some babies start sleeping through the night by six months, while others might take longer. It’s crucial to understand and respect your baby’s unique needs and pace.

Are there any products that can help with nighttime parenting?

Several products, like white noise machines, swaddle blankets, or pacifiers, might help some parents. However, it’s essential to choose products that are safe and suitable for your baby’s age and developmental stage.



This post is written and edited by Sandy who is a clinical pharmacist with over 20 years of experience specializing in pre-natal and post-natal care.