Is It OK To “Hate” Your Newborn Baby? The Unspoken Reality of Postpartum Depression

The early days of parenthood are often hailed as the most blissful and magical. However, they can be a rollercoaster of emotions, ranging from pure love to, in some cases, a sense of resentment or even “hate” towards your baby. 

Such feelings can be perplexing and distressing, especially if you’re not prepared for them.

This article explores the challenging emotions some parents face after childbirth and delves deep into postpartum depression.

Keep reading to understand that you’re not alone and there’s help available.

What’s Going on? The First Few Weeks With a Newborn Baby

The early weeks after having a baby are some of the most exhausting months of their lives for many parents.

Adapting to the demands of caring for a newborn can make one feel overwhelmed. From waking up every night to frequent diaper changes, the cycle can seem endless.

It’s during these times that feelings of resentment can creep in, often intensified by the lack of sleep.

Is It Normal to Feel Overwhelmed?

Becoming a parent, especially for the first time, can feel like a shock to the system. The constant care a baby requires, coupled with the hormones and exhaustion, can make any mom or dad feel overwhelmed.

It’s important to know that it’s okay to feel this way, but if these feelings persist or turn into something more, it’s essential to seek support.

What Causes Exhaustion After Giving Birth?

Exhaustion after childbirth isn’t just physical. It is a mix of emotional, mental, and physical fatigue. The body is recovering from pregnancy and the process of giving birth.

New mothers are also adjusting to breastfeeding, which can be challenging. Then there’s the emotional drain of adjusting to a new role, often accompanied by the dread of doing something wrong or not being “good enough.”

Colic: Why Does My Baby Cry All the Time?

Colic is a term used to describe excessive crying in babies who otherwise appear healthy.

It can be one of the most challenging phases for new parents, leading to feelings of frustration and helplessness.

Listening to your sweet little darling scream for hours can push you to the brink, making you whisper, “I hate my baby,” in moments of sheer exhaustion.

Breastfeeding: A Bonding Blessing or a Stressful Demand?

Breastfeeding is often portrayed as a serene bonding moment between mother and infant. However, it can be stressful, painful, and, at times, a source of resentment towards their child

Some mothers may feel trapped by the constant demand, while others may struggle with supply issues or painful conditions like mastitis.

Diapers and Poop: Is This What Parenthood Is?

For many, the frequent diaper changes, especially in the middle of the night, can feel monotonous.

It’s a grim reminder that life has dramatically changed, and some may resent these constant reminders of their new parenting responsibilities.

New Moms and the Pressure to Be Perfect

The societal pressure on mothers to be perfect and always bond instantly with their babies can be overwhelming.

Many mothers feel they can’t share their true feelings due to the fear of judgment. Postpartum depression can manifest itself in many ways, and this societal pressure can exacerbate it.

New Fathers and The Struggles of New Fatherhood

While much focus is on new moms, dads too can struggle with adjusting to new fatherhood.

The pressure of supporting the family, coupled with sleep deprivation and a new dynamic with their wife, can be daunting.

Postpartum Depression: Recognizing the Signs

Postpartum depression (PPD) or postnatal depression is more than just the “baby blues.” It’s a severe form of depression that can manifest in feelings of resentment or “hate” towards the baby.

It’s crucial to recognize these feelings for what they are – signs of PPD – and not as a testament to one’s ability as a parent.

Seeking Help: It’s Okay to Ask

If you hate your baby or someone you know is struggling with these feelings, it’s vital to reach out for support. Platforms like Reddit provide answers to all sorts of questions relating to PPD.

Whether it’s through medical professionals, therapists, or trusted family and friends, help is available.

In Summary:

  • It’s common to feel overwhelmed after the birth of a baby.
  • Feelings of resentment or “hate” could be signs of postpartum depression.
  • External pressures can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy or overwhelm.
  • Both new moms and dads can struggle with these feelings.
  • It’s essential to seek help if these emotions persist or intensify.

Remember, you’re not alone, and there’s a community ready to support you through these challenges.



Is it normal to have negative feelings towards my newborn?

Yes, it’s not uncommon for new parents to have a range of emotions, including negative feelings, due to hormonal changes, exhaustion, and the stress of new responsibilities.

How do I differentiate between “baby blues” and postpartum depression (PPD)?

While “baby blues” typically last a few days to two weeks and involve mood swings and anxiety, PPD lasts much longer, has more severe symptoms like intense irritability, severe mood swings, and feelings of disconnection from the baby.

Can fathers experience postpartum depression?

Yes, fathers can experience symptoms similar to PPD, often referred to as paternal postpartum depression.

Changes in the dynamic of relationships, financial pressures, and lack of sleep can contribute.

How soon after childbirth can PPD symptoms appear?

PPD symptoms can appear within a few days of delivery, but they can also manifest several weeks or even months postpartum.

What should I do if I suspect I have postpartum depression?

It’s vital to consult with a healthcare professional or therapist who can provide guidance, support, and possible treatment options to restore your mental health. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength.

Further References:

  1. Mayo Clinic: An excellent resource for understanding the symptoms, causes, and treatments associated with postpartum depression. Link:
  2. Postpartum Support International: This website offers resources, including helplines, to those experiencing postpartum mental health issues. Link:
  3. American Psychological Association: Provides an overview of postpartum depression and ways to manage and treat it. Link:
  4. Office on Women’s Health, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services: An informational page on postpartum depression, including risk factors, symptoms, and treatment options. Link:
  5. National Institute of Mental Health: Offers detailed information on signs, symptoms, treatments, and research related to postpartum depression. Link:
  6. CDC: Provides statistics, facts, and public health importance of detecting and addressing postpartum depression. Link:


This post is written and edited by Sandy who is a clinical pharmacist with over 20 years of experience specializing in pre-natal and post-natal care.